This is the real nathaniel.

Please can we remove all this information about me. I have removed my blog and placed an appology to the NKT and Geshe Kelsang Gyatso on the site…

That information came from a different side of me which I hope does not show itself ever again.

Thanks

- may the actual nathaniel find peace and happiness.

Nathanial with all your accusations and blogs you have humiliated loads of people, causes and effect.

Don’t you think its time to move on now.
Again I hope you will meet the dharma in future life.

I would like to defend my self here, please accept my apology for my bad grammar and spelling, but you try and run a blog from your cell phone! And also perhaps think of this before you make such horrible statements against me. You dont know me, how can youu say that I was confused over my own homosexuality? Who says I was in the so called closet? I accepted my sexuality long ago, and it had nothing to do with my deciscion to take ordination. My decicision came from a long conversation with my teacher, Legden, he suggested it to me and I accepted because I wished to make the Dharma a part of my life, let me also tell you that when I left the NKT I had mad arrangements to go to India and take ordination there instead, so please dont try and make me out to be the bad person here, I accept that some of the points on my blog were not correct and am going to remove them now that I have access to a computer again. I am also in the process of compiling a new letter to the truth team with some unanswered questions.

PS MAIK where in the your Buddhist scriptures does it say that humilliating and attacking you enemies intelegence is acceptable.

Thank you NKT for explanations above – honesty and timeous responses do much to set the mind at peace.

x

As it happens I spoke to a number of members of the Johannesburg Sangha at the Summer Festival, including Legden. They are all such nice people. Legden is a wonderfully calm and stable person, and I am so pleased to think of him spreading the Dharma in South Africa. One of the ladies I spoke to told me about Nathaniel – this was before I’d come across him on the net. She just said that she really liked him and that everyone else liked him and was impressed by his sincerity and knowledge of Dharma, and that they all felt a bit shocked by the way things had developed.

I regard this blog as an important development to the New Kadampa Truth site and I think that it will serve an number of functions. 1) Specific allegations require specific answers. For example, although I was able to answer some of the allegations for myself I was unaware of the extent to which the allegations about events at Nagarjuna Centre were or weren’t true. I feel better for having received specific and detailed answers about this.

Secondly I think that this sets an important precedent as it means that people know that they can get answers. The fact is that letters and e-mails to Geshe Kelsang often go unanswered. Of the ten or so letter and e-mails that I have sent him over the past thirteen years I have received one reply. That was in 1977 when in response to my request for some spiritual advice he advised me to practise mindfulness. I appreciate this advice although I can’t really comment on the extent to which I have or haven’t managed to practise it.

In general in society people do have the right to not answer others. Not giving a reply isn’t necessarily an unfriendly thing. I receive far more text messages from one of my friends that I ever send him, but I’m not unhappy to receive them, and I value him as a friend. He’s also happy to receive the occasional text back from me, and all is well. Perhaps a non-reply may sometimes contain an important answer of sorts? In any case, the fact of the matter is that if someone chooses to not reply to us we have to accept this. Geshe-la often doesn’t reply to people and so of course we must accept this, either out of faith or just out of necessity!

BUT…. surely organisation should be accountable in some way, and should be able to offer people a reply of sorts to any genuinely held grievance that they may have? Furthermore, I also think that it’s far better if such grievances shouldn’t have to be addressed to senior figures within the Tradition anyway – who people may wish to keep seperate from their “issues.” So in reality this is two further points: 2) that from our side we are now agreeing to perform a function that responsible organisation do generally agree to perform – that of answering all grievances and enquiries, and 3) people can know that if they do have grievances they can report them to someone who will provide them with a response.

I can only say that I think that this is extremely valuable, and something for which I am extremely grateful. Perhaps at least some of the Nathaniels of the future will report their grievances to NKT Truth first of all, and won’t feel the need to post them publicly on the internet. Wouldn’t this be in everyone’s best interests? I know that if this facility had been available I would have used it before now. As it is I learnt my lesson eventually and in my own way, and feel stronger for it. A good friend said that the real NKT survivors are those who go through the s*** and stay within the organisation!!!

In retrospect I don’t really regret any of my experiences, even not getting answers I was looking for, even if I regret, quite appropriately, some of my deluded responses to them. However, I’m also very pleased that this facility has been made available and I hope that it will be used by those who need it.

I would be happy to be part of this project in particular by entering into correspondance, where appropriate, with people who are aggrieved rather than hostile, and would appreciate an exchange of thought and ideas. Let me know if this would be helpful. I would be willing to submit the correspondance to be checked, but in any case I would only wish to correspond in a private capacity really, as a volunteer befriender as it were, and not on in the name of NKT Truth as such, as this is better done by yourselves.